MAUD - Elected 1912

"When my late husband, Ambrose Jarvis Longworth II, boarded the RMS Titanic for its maiden voyage, I had this sinking feeling I would never see him again..."

Maud is President of the Ladies Auxiliary for Cultural Enrichment and its longest member having outlived the other founders from 1901. She is also the most reserved and dignified, having organized suffragette movements in 1921 and again in 2005. Maud is appalled by the slow deterioration of proper etiquette in America today, and has no hesitation in pointing it out when provoked. She is known for her trademark declaration, "Rude! Rude! And MORE Rude!"

PEARL - Elected 1924

"It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything!"

Pearl is Treasurer of the Ladies Auxiliary for Cultural Enrichment and the most pleasant-natured. She is also least likely to remember you later. She is slightly hard of hearing but doesn't know it. However, she is also the most limber of the group and has been known to steer her chair scooter with her feet while she does needlepoint. She loves children, dogs, and shooting craps. She has a lovely singing voice whether you want to hear it or not, and is known for her trademark cheerful salutation, "Hello, dear!"

EDNA - Elected 1934

"My nosy neighbor asked me what was in the urn over my fireplace. I said it was my dead husband's ashes. She was shocked until I explained I could never get that lazy bum to use an ashtray!"

Edna is Vice President of the Ladies Auxiliary for Cultural Enrichment and perhaps it's most raucous member. Her chain-smoker's voice has been compared to gravel grating on a washboard. She prefers function over form, which is evident in her practical wardrobe, and has been cited over one hundred times for speeding and reckless endangerment while driving her chair scooter! She is known for her trademark phrase, "Oh honey, you haven't heard the HALF of it!"

AGNES - Elected 1941

"I don't date men my own age because there aren't any! And I always put my bifocals on before I make love to make sure I'm with the right partner!

Agnes is Secretary of the Ladies Auxiliary for Cultural Enrichment and likely it's most amorous member. She has been known to force burley men to sit in her lap while she reads from the Saturday Evening Post. She has delicate health and claims to have been bed-ridden thousands of times-and twice in a buggy. She says she has everything she had forty years ago-only lower. She becomes somewhat confused after three Brandy Alexanders and is known for her seductive but sincere pick up line, "Do I come here often?"